The last year has been a whirlwind for me. I was informed that I was going blind. I attended the blind rehab center in Tucson. When I came back I spent time in the ER only to find out I had metastatic melanoma to my lungs.
Four doctors had reviewed my current cat scan. All agreed. The fourth doctor was a pulmonary interventionist . He informed me that I likely had a metastatic melanoma to the lung and liver. I might also have a second cancer and interstitial pneumonia.
I am a nurse so understand the gravity of my situation. It is amazing that I spent a month in blind rehab with a busy schedule and lung cancer. I am so glad I went.
How do I feel about all this? Of course, I am scared shitless. I was a nurse in the open heart ICU. I am used to working under pressure. It is the same thing. This time it is me. I was diagnosed and treated with melanoma three years ago. I have always had my checks. No matter. The little guys searched in spite of no lymph glands. They traveled through the bloodstream to find a new home in my lungs. Melanoma cells are aggressive and tenacious.
Melanoma becomes a dangerous cancer once it metastasizes. My life will probably end in a year. Maybe two if I am lucky. I had a very interesting life. No regrets. I still have joy in my life. I am lucky to have a wonderful family. I will continue to write. I will continue my everyday life as long as I can.
So of the symptoms I thought were from rheumatoid arthritis were probably from lung cancer.
I remember three years ago when I was diagnosed with melanoma, I wondered if my number was up. That year Jimmy Buffet died of melanoma Mets to the brain. Melanoma Mets are more common than we would like. Be aware.
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Thank you for explaining how closely you followed your health, only to be in this situation.
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This makes me sad. It has meant a great deal to me (also an RN with RA) to read about your journeys with multiple health issues. Please know how much you are appreciated. As a nurse who worked in clinical research, I do wonder if there are some clinical trials out there that might offer some hope. Sending you strength, my friend.
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Mary, reading your words, what shines through most is not the diagnosis – it is your courage. After a lifetime of standing beside patients in their most fragile moments as a nurse, you now face your own storm with the same honesty and strength you must have offered so many others.
It’s completely human to be frightened, and the fact that you say it openly only shows how real and brave you are. Yet even in the middle of all this uncertainty, you still speak of joy, of family, of continuing to write and live your days. That says so much about the depth of your spirit.
You have lived a meaningful life of service and compassion, and that kind of life leaves ripples that go far beyond what we can see. Thank you for sharing your truth and for reminding all of us how powerful honesty, resilience, and gratitude can be.
You are in many hearts, that know you personally and that read your posts Mary. Wishing you strength, comfort, and many moments of peace and light in the days ahead. 💛
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