Have you ever felt so depleted, that there is almost nothing left? Are you surrounded by people who are caring but don’t seem to care? Are you so ready to call it quits? But can’t because the house needs to be cleaned first. Damn. Days can be tough.
I have rheumatoid arthritis. My Orencia no longer works. And after I had a very bad flu sandwiched by two very bad flares, it was cancelled. It is advertised as being a wonder drug, but in reality the very best it can do is help 50% of patients, 50% of the time. From a business standpoint a drug that costs $3500 a month should do more than 50% for 50%.
That is what it did for me. 50% and I was a lucky one. Before that, I suffered with severe symptoms most of the time. 50% is a big help when that is the case. So now I am back to the beginning with 0 %. Square one, I am back.
So today I am bleary-eyed and discouraged. I wish for a hug and some kind words. They seem to be too much to ask. I realize that it is time for a visit to Ruth. It is time to sit in the big chairs in her book store, sip great coffee and eat lemon frosted cookies.
She welcomes me. She smiles and give me the hug I need. We sit. The coffee is even better than I remembered. The cookies are always the best. My spirits rise just sitting with her. I know I have not had an artist’s vacation in a while. I know I am due. Simply what I need is to put my focus and heart into my art. Thank you, Ruth.